Surviving a Theme Park Vacation

It was our first trip to the big WDW, which is Walt Disney World to those in the know. I thought I’d covered all my bases — I’d brought granola bars for my always-hungry 5-year-old, I had princess shoes and sandals in my backpack for my Cinderella-crazy 4-year-old and I had thrown in extra batteries for the digital camera. What didn’t I have? Underpants. No, not for the obvious, whatever you’re thinking. They were for the post-flume-ride blues — as in, "Mommy, I’m all wet! And my underpants are wet!" — which is when you, the parent, have to go to every single store at Disney to see if they have dry underpants.

In case you’re wondering, they don’t.

My suggestion? If you’re going to ride the flume ride with a particularly particular 5-year-old, do it at the end of the day, in a bathing suit, or equipped with lots of dry underpants in your backpack.

Most everyone who travels with kids to a theme park has a similar story about a day gone wrong. If you want to make your trip to Hersheypark or Disneyland sweet and magical, try to avoid some typical pitfalls.

First, be sure you get the theme park memo ahead of time. The Internet is full of message boards geared toward first-time visitors to pretty much every park in America, and you’ll need the sage advice that experienced travelers have to offer.

A case in point: Cheryl Booth, of Wallingford, Penn., almost had to buy a $100 Cinderella dress in a Disney boutique when she showed up for dinner at the castle with her 4-year-old, Kaila. The Princess Booth was the only girl there in sneakers and a chocolate-smeared T-shirt, and she was not pleased. Had Cheryl cruised the online tips, she’d have known: Dress to the nines when dining at a palace — or at least make sure your kids do.

And this is just one example. Theme park devotees who post online are full of tips on everything from which car gives you the best ride on the wooden coaster to which hot-dog stand never runs out of relish.

Second, accept up front that you aren’t going to be able to do it all. Well, maybe you can, but your kids can’t. I don’t care how old your kids are, teens or tots — what they really want to do is ride Dumbo or the Fahrenheit roller coaster, but not both — and certainly not all in one day. Therefore, for a great time in the park, plan ahead. This means getting a map of the park before you leave your living room, and making a game plan for how your family will do the can’t-miss-no-matter-what stuff.

And if your kids aren’t sure, allow them to watch a ride a few times before they get in line to see what they think. If they don’t want to ride, don’t force them to wait, and definitely don’t force them to ride if they don’t want to — even after a long wait. Believe me when I say you’ll regret it, especially with teens, who may need to save face if they chicken out at the last minute.

Another tip: Accept that you are going to deal with crowds and long lines. Veteran park-goers will tell you that you should hit the park early, then start in the back and work toward the gate, hitting the most popular rides early in the day. Parades are almost always "special-est" for little kids, so tell your teens to hightail it to the coasters while Mickey’s waving at the throngs of preschoolers.

For lines, try two other strategies — FastPass the heck out of the Disney parks (in other words, get an advance line-pass ticket from a "vending" machine near the big rides) and do the parental swap technique (where both parents wait in line only once with the little kids, then take turns watching the kids and riding) at almost any park.

Third, dress for theme park success. If you’re like many guests who head south for warmer weather, you may not realize just how warm these parks can get. Remember, you’re dealing with concrete sidewalks and very little shade. Wear comfortable walking shoes for the miles upon miles of walking you’ll be doing (no princess heels allowed until the very moment you see Snow White) and tons of sunscreen. Visors are a must — those cute Mickey ears will do nothing to keep the sun off your little Tinkerbell’s face. But (and here’s the nonsensical catch), after the sun goes down or you ride a water ride, the most courageous Buzz Lightyear will be shivering, so tie windbreakers around each family member’s waist to break out for the evening fireworks. And if the weather just isn’t working for you, try an indoor show or restaurant — they’re sure to have heat or air-conditioning.

Parents should also realize that theme parks are scary places. They are full of people dressed in weird costumes — think giant Reeses peanut butter cups or dogs in trousers — and rides that go upside down in the dark. Know now that if you force your reluctant little one to take a photo with Grumpy, she will be grumpier than he is. In fact, she will forever call you Cruella deVille, and years later, she will remind you, "Remember when you made me . . ." Having been there with my older daughter, I can promise you that you do not want to drag a screaming child onto a theme park bus yelling, "You are the meanest Mommy ever," when you just spent $5,000 on a park vacation. So, do only what your kids are comfortable doing and plan an adult vacation back to the theme park another time (and, yes, they have those).

Finally, eat and drink your way through the parks. I mean this pretty much literally. Remember how I said that the parks would be hot? That means that your kids need to drink a lot of water — force it into them through slushies, if you have to, but get it down the hatch. As for food, you have to strike a careful balance between keeping their blood sugar high enough so that they don’t crash on you — try a giant turkey leg for a 13-year-old boy, for example — and filling their stomachs so full that they barf on the Tower of Terror. A good strategy: a big breakfast, a big dinner and snacks throughout the day instead of a hefty lunch.

To truly enjoy a theme park vacation, have strategies for what to do if the kids get lost, and structure your day to avoid total theme-park overload. But most of all, keep food, drink, dress and fun in mind, and you’ll survive intact to do it all over again.