After reading Jerry Chandler’s four-part series about the
travails of the U.S. airline industry, and United’s woes in
particular, I think I know what specifically led to the downfall of
UA its choice of onboard snacks. You know, those freebie things you
get with your Cokes.
In the past couple of months, I’ve flown Southwest, American and
United, which usually serve, respectively, pretzels, a cheesy kind
of mix, and a “savory” mix. (Though I was surprised last week, when
on American, they served pretzels instead.) As we all know, peanuts
cost too darn much, and airlines have had to find alternatives to
save money. Southwest’s pretzels are fine; and, actually,
American’s cheesy mix is not bad-tasting, though it stains your
fingers like Cheetos stain my son’s hands (who, in turn, rubs them
all over the furniture).
But, United’s concoction is truly scary. It’s “manufactured” by
a company called Delyse French Gourmet Food in Reno (Reno?). About
the only thing of value it offers is 1 gram of protein, plus a
smidgen of iron and vitamin C. Nothing else. It has stuff like
“reduced iron” (Can you really do that? Is it a thing or a
process?), sodium stearoyl lactylate, soy grits and dried cheddar
cheese that consists of pasteurized milk, cheese cultures, enzymes,
calcium chloride, water and disodium phosphate. Plus, those always
reassuring “natural flavors.”
With all these challenging ingredients going for it, United’s
savory mix tastes like absolutely nothing. Well, maybe a little
like cardboard. I think this separates the cheap from the very
cheap, and that is why United is losing passengers. I’d like to see
UA try to sell us this garbage, if they get that desperate for
cash.
